Friday, September 05, 2008
i went for a run just now. i ran and ran and ran. i never thought i could run so fast for so long. then i stopped and i just sat alone in the dark along the canal. and for those few moments, i could only hear the beating of my heart and i felt nothing. for awhile i thought i was drunk on running so fast. i just sat there and looked ahead at the waters. running thoughts through my mind. like everything just rolled along the way. then i looked up, looked around, and suddenly i started feeling the pain from my toes up. i was aching everywhere. and the pain wouldn't stop. i think the saddest thing that could happen to anyone is when sth happens to you but nobody knows. they may care but do they know? or they just continue living everyday as it was just another day. i want the world to stop going when sth bad happens. just for awhile. i don't want to have to live like nothing is wrong. is it the one you don't need but the one you want? or is it the one you need but the one you don't want? i realised the one i need i can no longer have. but like tonight when im all alone because no one cares. i let go of the one i need for the one i want. i don't even know what im saying anymore. i don't even know what to do. or who i want. or need.
- everything's just temporary;
11:09 PM
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
i miss US. when you're there you just somehow feel you belong there so much more than you belong here. it's just so restricted. back in the states, we managed to do whatever we wanted to. we managed to say whatever we wanted to say. only cause we were in the states. i've never felt so strongly bout the freedom of speech, never fully every understood what that meant till i actually went there. the US national anthem states US as a land of the free. do you know how much that could mean to me now? i really want to be free. i want to breathe the US air again, i want to go back to experiencing the culture there, i want to go back and walk the entire golden gate bridge over and over again, i want to go down lombard street and look back up, i want to spend my nights there crying because everything was so perfect. so perfect. have you ever felt that something or somewhere was just so perfect? not because of the awesome stars that lit up the dark nights, neither was it because of the beautiful sceneries that US offers -- though they definitely play a part; but because of the feeling you get where you are so carefree, nothing to worry about, nothing at all. those were definitely the best days of my life. i found what i wanted, what i needed. i found myself. i grew up. and my life just totally started all over again from there.
- everything's just temporary;
9:48 PM
Thursday, July 17, 2008
everyone seems to be growing up but is there ever a stage when you feel that you're not growing up; but instead feel that you seem to be remaining at a certain stage.
anwys i miss timbers. & the music. & i miss ____.
- everything's just temporary;
12:15 PM
Friday, June 06, 2008
it is really scary how alone i actually am in a world that is new to me; yet i don't mind at all being alone in this new world that gives me so much happiness. i don't need anyone to make me happy to be happy. what a new feeling that i have. i am amazed.if you really love someone, would you let the person go and catch the person back anytime you get the chance to? who would you love? someone who thinks you're crazy all the time? or someone who thinks you're perfect no matter what? it all happens when your heart's not in it.
- everything's just temporary;
9:02 AM
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
have you ever read something that is related to you in one way or another? there's this blog existing somewhere in the world. and there's this person writing this blog. and everytime i read the blog, tears come to me. my heart suddenly beats with unberable slowness and an ache which never fails to stay plastered on that broken heart of mine. and why broken right? why broken when it seems you have the perfect guy with you. but what if that passion isn't there? what if you mixed up the feelings of everything you ever knew. and the perfect guy no matter how perfect isn't perfect for you. what if imperfectness was perfect for me? truthfully and honestly, i never stop, never ever stop thinking bout that question. most nights if im not too tired, that question comes to me, and that slow ache comes back once more, just like how it feels when i read that blog. that existing blog somewhere in the world. i never stressed or had a best friend. usually it was close friends, the familiar people you hang out with once in awhile and still talk about the rubbish, the character that doesn't change, it's all so familiar and safe. so my question is whats the feeling of having a best friend? how do you know that person is your best friend? mtyweb abyy. sometimes things are easier left unsaid. sometimes everything seems happy, you think the person is happy; then you see the person cry. for no reason. out of nowhere. and you see the person cry. then you get to choose to either pick up the person's broken pieces or let it lie. and me, i so want to pick them up and heal them. but sometimes it'd do more harm than good. i wish someone knew. ps. love at first sight is true. really. it can really happen. and when it does, you'll know it. the most magical moment that you will probably never forget in your entire life. pps. love at first sight, if its not meant to be, it will never be. and it can be so painful too. but you will carry that moment with you for life. hope is what gets you going, moving on.steph, i miss you. now. badly. i wish i had someone else around now. i wish it. ben, reply me online lehs. its not easy coming online these few days esp if i got work. the hours kill.abyy, i don't have to say anything, it's in the eyes. in the mind. in the heart. in the soul.
- everything's just temporary;
9:58 AM
Thursday, May 15, 2008
hello! melo is now in usa. updates can be found on erm. www.meloandnut.blogspot.com
anyone wanna help change the blogskin pls feel free to email me!
- everything's just temporary;
8:35 PM
Thursday, May 08, 2008
so after the exams, here's what i've been up to:monday: met ying liang for supper at starbucks siglap. but the place was super crowded, the whole place was filled. so we headed down to coffee club for drinks. (: i know at this point of time, there should be some pictures to fill up the details, but apparently i'm experiencing some really irritating problems. so, we had a good catching up session.
waitress: are you guys ready to place your order?him: yup, i'm ready but i think the lady needs another 5 mintues.
(waitress walks away)
me: so what are you having?
him: i don't know. hahahahs. it was damn funny la. thanks for the really pretty book! and the super creative model. grins. i'm going to be missing you!
tuesday: i cleaned my room so now it looks so much better. (:
then headed down to PS to meet benjamin. my mackers breakfast buddy! walked around, talked crap and then went to watch movie -- doomsday. it's a stupid show, something like i am lengend. hahhas gory but ben and i had some good times laughing at the funny parts. which were SUPER dumb. hahhahs. Rhona Mitra's super hot in the show. her eye colour's gorgeous and so is her hairstyle in the movie. omg. i kept ranting on to ben bout how hot she was la. hahahhs. oh ya, though she fights and almost dies and all, her hair, though in a mess is still so perfect. and so are her perfectly mascaraed and curled eyelashes. tsktsk.
thanks ben! for the many food inc the pads and the condom and plaster food imitation. grins.!
after which went with daddy to st annes. weijie was working so couldn't meet him. hmms.
wednesday: did my brows at browhaus in the morning then met up with toh to do our international license. and had lunch at singtel. bittersweet singtel nostalgia. ahhahas. after which we headed to his place to do erm. NOTHING AT ALL. oh he finally cleared his room too. and we decided to cook pasta for his family for dinner. which was yumm!
then we headed out to zouk. i tell you, we reached zouk arnd 945 and the queue to phuture was crazy. i think it's ridiculous that zouk has ladies ticket restriction on ladies night. i was so pissed off. after we queued for so long. rubbish. so the two tohs and i cabbed down to mos. which seemed to be super boring at first but after midnight it was a blast. andrea and jamies came down to join us too! we all had flamin lambo and so on. my first on flamin lambo. it's super nice! (((((((((: it really hit after that gulp of martel. took crazy number of photos. but i can't upload them cause there's a prob rmb? but we all had alot of fun. the best of the mambo hits were played and smoove had good rnb too. (: DJ TANG IS DROP DEAD HUNKY OMG. hahhahas. i've a huge crush on him. my legs were killing me after the night was through. andrea and jamies left early as she had school the next day. and the 2 tohs and i headed to azhars for supper. hottie 1 and hottie 2 were damn high. ahahhahas. so we were being damn loud and sprouting pounds of rubbish. lolls. once we stepped into the house i was fast aslp. toh went to bathe can. siao.
thurs: again we did nothing. hahahs. we woke up super duper late and was just in time to catch the jackie chan and jet li show at westmall. after which headed down to the plaza market cafe at the swisshotel to eat dinner buffet. thanks uncle george for the voucher! ahhahs. ate till we couldn't eat anymore. esp since we hadn't eaten anything the entire day. so now i'm back home with all these news.ps. i'm super tired. i just want to be with yeanlih right now. because of what happened just now. (:
- everything's just temporary;
11:20 PM
